Santa Clara Meditation Q&A by Members – Do you regret your marriage, and why?
Of course, yes I did more than 1,000 times, but I don’t anymore. Our relationship is positively getting better everyday. I have sincere gratitude for him and I thank meditation for helping me get here.
Let me tell you my story. . .
I met my husband on a blind date 15 yrs ago. Honestly, he wasn’t my type. He was not what I expected as he was very different from my exes. He was totally different from me and we didn’t have anything in common. However, I had just started living independently and my life was in chaos. I had arguments everyday with my boss, I felt empty after a day of hard work, and I needed more money than I earned. Those circumstances made me think about marriage. So we got married.
After giving birth to my children, I realized I made the most serious, irreversible mistake. I felt desperate and lonely. Since then, I have regretted my marriage every day. I felt sorry for my kids. I was also afraid that my kids knew my thoughts and might judge me.
At first, I hated him. To be honest, my hubby is a good man. At least he is ok. But I couldn’t accept him as my life partner. I hated everything I saw, heard, smelt, and felt when I was with him.
As time went on, I started ignoring him. Here’s the most miserable part. I found myself always turning my back to him. This went on for 10 years of my married life.
What happened next?
When I couldn’t live this miserable life anymore, a friend asked me, “Why don’t you change your mind?” and recommended this meditation. She said I would be able to throw away my stress and bitterness. So, I registered at the meditation center. Immediately after I started to meditate, I felt like I could breathe again. I felt comfortable. I was able to look back at my life and get rid of lots of burdens in my mind. My mind started to clear up. Now I can understand him and see him for who he is.
Every individual lives in their own mind world. It is impossible for two people to understand each other as long as they have their own thoughts crowding their mind with judgement.
“when men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom” John Gray, <Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus>
Respect and acceptance can exist when we have cleared our mind of hatred, inferiority, superiority, worries and anxieties. There’s no such thing as a perfect spouse for me in this world. But I now know that I have a really good man who has always been there for me. I am very thankful for the meditation that has helped me remove my blind fold and see the virtues of my husband.
by Donna Seo
