Santa Clara Meditation Depression – Farewell to Depression and Insomnia
Hye Eun Seo
I came to meditate while working as a teacher at an after school tutoring academy. My heart was always depressed, and originally there is not a single person who is easy and I lived trying to always be bright and brave. At the end of the day, on my way back home, without fail, I would cry and I couldn’t sleep at night. I hated my brother whom I had to take care of, but I also had a parent who was old, sick and lived with me, whom I had to take care of. There was nobody in the world who helped me, and since middle school, I lived a life having to decide and resolve everything their own. Looking at it now, I think I worked relentlessly and well having to accomplish everything, although I was a jack-of-all-trades, there was no one around me that I could sincerely work together with and I had become a person that does alone.
Eventually, it came to be that I wanted to die every moment. Although I was living, the only reason I endured and told myself I couldn’t die was because I was responsible for my family. After sometime, enduring, I came to know and start this meditation through a friend. While doing this meditation, the happiest moment, and the moment I was most grateful for was when I came to know that this agonizing life is not my life, and that it was not my responsibility to carry on life to the end. I came to know that I was living within my self-created mind with that responsibility and obligation and within my mind world. I came to know that I lived so diligently, to the point of almost dying, but that bothered everyone.
I naturally got further away from depression and insomnia, heart attack, dyspnea, and other illnesses that I have lived with for a lifetime, and I am really enjoying my new life. Amazing results! Had it not been for this meditation, even now, I would still be living in the self-created sad life without knowing the reason why. I am very grateful because I have this meditation and I am very grateful to this world.
