SANTA CLARA MEDITATION Q&A BY MEMBERS – HOW CAN YOU IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS?
Have you ever experienced before? Financial crisis! Yes, of course I have. I and my hubby were in debt to a bank. We had to manage to pay off our debt in a year. Every thing looked like gloomy. I felt starved as well as stuck. I experienced that I had big problems to communicate with my partner when we had a financial problem. At that time, we had bitter quarrels over money matter and sometimes we hadn’t spoken each other for days.
Everything didn’t fit from my perspective. I felt angry and wanted to fight. I seemed to listen to him and agree with his opinion but I never gave up my theory. We talked a lot and listened to each other seemingly. But surely, I had never listened properly. I just pretended and I insisted that he must yield up to me.
As you presumed we couldn’t solve our communication problems. We were parallel for a long time. I hadn’t understood that we had to work hard and save money to solve the financial crisis rather than to have a row. Luckily we now settled prudently. Thank god! We both have worked diligently and concerned carefully when we spent money.
I’m now mid 40’s. Since I have a self-centered mind, even if I pretend that I understand other people’s saying, they don’t trust me. I could see how much I was mean, narrow-minded and thinking only myself. If I didn’t meditate. I couldn’t see myself. I look back myself. It was heartbreaking but divine! When I threw away my own thoughts, selfishness, hatred and carelessness, I was able to accept the others. I didn’t try to do so, but I became that state.
To communicate effectively, I do listen carefully without any judgement. When I talk to others truly, they listen and accept my will. It seems very difficult. but we know there’s no result unless we persuade others. We have to have true minds, and then we can move others’ heart.
by Donna Seo
