Santa Clara Meditation Happiness – There Is No Loneliness Or Inferiority
Guillaume Lee / Interpreter
Guillaume Lee was born to a Korean father and a French mother. His life experience as a child was filled with being teased for being of mixed race and he became very lonely at school as a result. It was a very difficult experience for him to live with this discrimination from his peers and it stayed with him in his young adult life. The following is Guillaume’s story of finding peace and harmony in the world through this method of meditation.
I realized that there is no loneliness or inferiority
I always wanted to find my roots. Am I French? Am I Korean? Who am I? But I couldn’t find an answer anywhere on my own. Then I began this meditation and immediately knew that the infinite universe was my origin and I was able to escape all of my old memories of inferiority and being of a mixed race. I also learned that loneliness was never really there. The original Universe mind has no human mind. Loneliness, anger and sadness were all emotions that I was living in because of my childhood memories and pictures – or remembered thoughts. I was trapped in my own head and lived in pain for years. The moment I enlightened that these things don’t really exist in the real world, I became very grateful and happy.
Discrimination, neglect and finding some happiness at school through music
I was separated from my parents when I was 10 years old to attend a private school in rural France and lived in a dormitory with my fellow students. All the other children at this private school were rich and I was frequently teased for being poor and having cheap clothing, so I was very sad and lonely at this age.
My high school experience was no better. I always found it difficult to make friends and I had trouble adapting to the world. The hardest thing was that I had nobody to talk to and share my pain. I had no friends. My parents didn’t have a good relationship and eventually divorced. Music was the only thing that made me happy. I wrote rap lyrics, composed music and performed street performances. I really enjoyed it, but was always sad deep down inside. I was so sad, I think the audience could even feel my sadness when I performed.
I want to start a new life
The most painful thing for me – even as an adult – was always loneliness. As a result, I became obsessed with being around people. When my girlfriend suddenly left me, my depression got even worse. I remember thinking, ’there is no one I can trust in the world.’ I was depressed by the betrayal of being left alone, and at one point my anger finally boiled over. There was no hope for me. I just wanted to die.
I wasn’t a big fan of France so I decided to try and start a new life in Korea and eventually moved in 2005. It was at this time that my father recommended this meditation method to me. He said that this meditation is really a study to become one with the real world. I could understand this philosophy because when I was a child, my mother was very interested in Buddhism, so I heard many stories that there is no distinction between you and me, and everyone is one. I really liked the idea of that. Maybe I found the cure to my loneliness?
The moment you let go of resentment and hate, ‘All becomes One’
When I was a child, my the one wish I always had when I saw a shooting star was that everyone could become a Buddha. If we were all Buddha then there would be no teasing about being different, there would be no disagreements or fights, and there would be no more discrimination. Finally, one day while practicing this meditation method, I fell on the floor and just started crying. I realized how selfish I had been my whole life. I blamed my parents for not being there for me and for not loving me and that blame is what made me hate people. I realized why my life was always filled with pain. I looked at the world with such a narrow heart and made a reality that only I knew, and I resented the world for not going the way that I wanted.
I really just wanted to get rid of all of these old remembered thoughts and memories. I followed this meditation method and discarded all of my old thinking, and at one point my mind disappeared and my consciousness finally began to grow. It was amazing! It also made all of the hard times in my life seem so silly and insignificant. I realized that all of my pain was my fault. My fault. In my heart, I wasn’t able to connect to people and I became resentful. Once I came to truly know this, I was able to begin communicating to anyone. I especially became more comfortable speaking with my parents again!
I want to help you make a world that is one without distinction
What I know for sure while practicing this meditation method is that the answer is within me. When I changed my mind, I realized the whole world changed. Also, when I abandoned the “old me,” the world became brighter and changed. I was the kind of person that always wondered why is the world was so unfair. I wondered why the rich live so well while the poor starve. Is there any way for everyone to live in peace?
No matter how hard we try to change our society or solve these problems with some new idea, it’s useless if people’s collective consciousness does not change. But as I continued practicing this meditation method, I realized I couldn’t live positively and have peace in the world with the old selfish and negative me. You can try to love your enemies, help others and do good things in your life, but that’s not to say that my thinking has changed. It’s not the same as living with a true heart. I realized that human beings have been repeating this behavior for a long time and they still aren’t happy. Eventually, truly living for others is possible when we become one with the world. Only then can there be no border between countries, no distinction between you and me, and live without discrimination between rich and poor. People who know their true self and change their consciousness can live peacefully without any distinction between you or me and make the one world! That’s what I want to do.
