Santa Clara Meditation Happiness – My Mind and Body Was Sick to Death, But Now I Can Breathe Comfortably
Hye Kyung Oh
Two years ago, I begged and begged again that I may not feel the agony for even just 10 seconds, and then I started this thing called “Meditation”. My husband’s unexpected accident caused total havoc on my whole body while I was nursing him and taking care of my kids. After 6 months, my body which had once been healthy, was affected by panic disorder, tinnitus, post-accidental stress disorder, all kinds of mental illness and later even affected my eyes. I could not breathe well. I was dizzy. And the suffering and pain followed me around 24 hours a day. I tried all sorts of methods for a cure and went to big hospitals. There wasn’t a place I hadn’t visited. In the end, I couldn’t even walk and had to live lying down. The disease lasted a year, and towards the end, I thought now this body in incurable and I thought I was about to die.
After I had given up like that, while I was sitting in the waiting room in a hospital, I was overcome by the thought that I so badly wanted to live. At that moment, I spotted this meditation magazine. Somehow, I thought that if I did that, my mind and body would be stabilized and I thought it would be helpful. I immediately went out to find a center. Every day I went out (I didn’t have strength to sit, and I couldn’t walk) and I cried all day while following the method to discard out my mind. It was so painful, but because this there was no other way than this, I did very earnestly without really knowing what was what according to how they told me. A day, two days, as one week passed, I was able to see that my anxiety was gradually diminishing and I was stabilizing. After meditation, I would go home and as I lay there, I would discard all day long. And as I couldn’t sleep well, would sleep while tightly hugging my meditation book.
I completed level 1 after one month and was so happy I felt as if I were flying in the sky. Above all, I was so happy that this me that had been sick to death was actually not me. Yes, this is it! I subtracted harder in level 2. For levels 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 I just ran looking straight ahead. For the first month, I meditated while lying down, then the second month, I meditated while sitting up half way, and by the third month I was meditating while sitting upright. A great miracle had happened. One month I lie down and practice, the second half I sit, and the half lie … In just three months, there was a great miracle of sitting and practicing. I came to know how great the power of subtraction was, and I realized that this is all possible because it is the way to become Truth. I am so grateful for this unimaginable happening.
I am so happy now. I am so thankful that I can breathe and live in this way. I have become healthier than before I started this meditation, and as much as I have returned to the True Mind, I love those around me more than ever before. I hear compliments from people that I am a very good person. As all my different kinds of thoughts have disappeared, the way I view and discern things is more precise. My courage and wisdom has grown so now I have become a person for whom no matter where I am, I am dignified and confident. Even if I am just sitting there, I am so happy that I laugh. I am so thankful, and thankful again for all the precious creations in the world and the universe. I would be so happy if all the people in the world could become this mind and are truly able to live.
