Santa Clara Meditation Positive Life Changes – I Have Overcome My Depression Through This Meditation As Well Succeed In My Business
Jae-Joo Shin / Business owner
I got a phone call from my friend on March, 2003. He said, “I am going to meditate, and it’s about time you come too.” I joking said, “Are you going to get enlightened?” But he was serious. He said, “Whatever you clean, you should come with me.” To which I told him, “These days I’m too busy, so I’ll make time to go next time.” What he said next surprised me. He said, “Even though you are busy running around, what have you really accomplished? Nothing will go wrong even if you aren’t there, so just come already.” Momentarily, I got upset and my pride was hurt. I realized that he hadn’t said anything that wasn’t true. That was how I started this meditation.
Meditation is looking back on myself. I started at the right time when I was suffering from depression
At that time, my life was so miserable. I failed my business, and because of that I had a lot of debt. I also couldn’t pay rent for over a year and so I was always trying to avoid the landlord and would creep into my apartment late at night. It was a reality that I utterly couldn’t escape from. Each night I would fall asleep wishing that I wouldn’t wake up. It had been like that for many years.
Eventually, I fell into depression, and I became very suicidal. Maybe, the car should hit me and after I die, my family can get money from insurance company. With that wish in mind, I even left home. My health issues became worse and my face became dark. I frequently fainted in the afternoon because of stress and exhaustion. Even though I was needed to go to the hospital, I couldn’t afford it: the money for meals and a warm room was more urgent.
After listening to the introduction of this meditation on the first day of level one, I started to feel hopeful. I was able to trust the progress of this meditation because they could clearly explain the definition of the mind and had a systematic method of throwing away the mind. As I started to throw away one by one of all the minds that I had been accumulating throughout my whole 50 years of life, I felt my head getting clearer, the heaviness in my heart lifting, and my body recuperating to normal.
I mistakenly thought that I had lived as a gentle, conscientious person who would never harm others. But while meditating, I found that that wasn’t true. I realized that internally, I was actually very selfish: filled with inferiority and timidity. And, in order to hide those minds, I had to act like I was good. I realized that I was very hypocritical.
I am the one who meditated, but my wife has also changed. Her mind has become peaceful, too
As I repented, I cried a lot while meditating. Actually, I had once been divorced. I married my current wife, who had lost her previous husband when he died early, and have lived with her for over ten years. Even after my business failed, we kept encouraging each other, trying not to lose hope. But as time went by and our impoverished state continued, it became agonizing. When we were alone, we kept blaming each other argued a lot. As our arguing continued, we thought of divorce. I thought it would be easy for us to divorce since we didn’t have children yet.
The day before I left to go meditate, we fought as though we would never see each other again. But when I finished level one of this meditation, my wife came to see me. She looked really peaceful. I sincerely asked her to forgive me. She didn’t say anything, but she serenely smiled at me, looking like an angel. I felt like I had been born again. She said, “While you were away meditating, strangely my anger and hatred had disappeared and I started to feel peace in my mind. I was curious to know what you were doing at the meditation center, so I came looking for you. I am so surprised by your change within one week of meditation.”
I have experienced that my life shall change when I change my mind
Eventually, my wife also had started this meditation. I felt so joyful and truly blessed by God to be able to go down this path of throwing away the self that had lived until now in order to find my true self. Afterward, my business became successful so I was able to pay back all of my huge debt. Before, I was always so exhausted and stressed by the afternoon. So I would often leave work. But after meditation, I can now work until late without getting tired.
I meet around 150 clients per day. I am now so grateful to each of these precious people. Because they exist, I can exist. Many people ask me, “How did you recover?” My answer is always same, “I changed my mind.” They usually reply, “For me, changing my mind is really difficult.” When they ask, “How do you change your mind?” I recommend that they try this meditation as it is the solution.
