Santa Clara Meditation Self Reflection – I Filled The Void With Alcohol Before, But Now I Solve It With My Mind
Jae-ju Noh / Vice President at Incheon Fumigation
I always lacked confidence. Even for the words that were about to come out of my mouth, I would stop to think, “What if I am wrong?” Alcohol was what gave me courage during those times. As I got older, life became lonely and empty. I had a house that I bought of my own merit and a loving family beside me, yet I was still dissatisfied. I tried to fill the void within me by meeting with this friend, that friend, and went out drinking seven days a week.
AS SOON AS I NO LONGER NEEDED TO DRINK ALCOHOL, MY HYPERTHYROIDISM WAS HEALED
In my mid 50s, due to my stress and alcohol intake, I was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. And then I was introduced to and started this meditation. As I did this meditation, I realized that my desire to eat rice without limit from my childhood and the inferiority I felt about not receiving as much education as others had always constricted me. Like that, dragged around by my past, I drank my life away.
As much as the false mind was discarded, I realized the infinite universe is originally me. There is nothing lacking for the universe mind. Whether there is a lot of money or a little money, whether I am living well or not, it doesn’t matter. As soon as I realized that truth deep within my mind, I was filled with confidence.
I can stand in front of anybody with confidence and ease. I no longer need to rely on the strength of alcohol. When doing business, there were many times I needed to drink with others. But when I genuinely said, “These days, my body doesn’t take the alcohol well”, and just drank half a glass, it was controlled. Like that, 3-4 months passed and my chronic hyperthyroidism healed. If I had never done this meditation, I wonder what kind of life I would be living? No matter how much I thank this meditation, it will never be enough.
