Santa Clara Meditation Depression – Finally Found a Way to Be Happy Without Pushing or Stressing
Jun / College Student
I was a fish climbing up to the earth. Coming to the states alone, I have been living a life full of greed. I was thirsty for knowledge and success.
I raced towards the goal better grades, better position, fame, and authority. In a very short amount of time, I have accomplished what I wanted. I was a senior student leader, Junior Classical League president, costume designer and director for the school theater production.
My schedule was packed with AP and honors classes and after school curriculum. Then one day, I realized that all of these were just a surface to hide my weakness. I wanted to be seen as strong and independent, but in fact I was not. I was severely homesick and lonely, and was dying to cling to somebody.
Leaving home alone when I was 15, I forced myself to become a grown up. My childhood was stolen. Once I reached that thought, and once I realized how much I had to lose, my GPA, position, and all the results of my selfishness, the shadow sleeping inside of my mind overpowered me. The rest of my senior year was a battle with depression.
That May I graduated, with high honors and several medals and awards, but I felt ashamed, for I was nobody. Who was I and what have I been doing for the past three years. I came back home to Korea without any answers to my questions.
Even after a couple of weeks of resting in the breast of my homeland, I still could not find what I lost. So I decided to follow my dad’s suggestion, going back to this meditation and starting over from the beginning.
I had done this meditation right before I left to the States, the end of 2005. Even though I had not known what I was doing and why I had to cleanse my mind back then, I knew my self was changing, and this meditation definitely helped me adapt to the new world. Unfortunately, there was no this meditation center nearby Angier, a little town in North Carolina where I lived with my host family for a year. I continued my life in the new world without realizing the importance of cleansing my thoughts and mind. Thankfully, I got a chance to go back to the center and start over.
That summer was the happiest time I have ever had for a long while. My plan of staying at the center for a month expanded into two plus a week, and the more I emptied my mind, the lighter my shoulders became. A big smile returned to my face, and my round cheeks flushed again with the joy and the excitement of life. At the end of the summer, I was ready to go back to the United States for another adventure in college.
Now, as a freshman of the School of the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston, I am enjoying my life more than I have ever been. I have been continuing my meditation and introducing it to my friends. For I have truly experienced the power of this meditation, I hope as many people as possible to be saved.
Now the fish, who was once eager to become a horse or an eagle, finally found a way to be happy without pushing or stressing. Becoming one with the universe, she will live happily ever after, infinitely but completely.
